Current mood: ruminative

The darker mood continues.

I believe, mostly, that a large part of it is related to the approach of 9/11.

On one hand, it's understandable how such a traumatic event could impact on anyone. Then again, I don't personally know anyone affected by the events that day. I'm not even American. So how does that work?

I grew up in the UK during a time where terrorism was simply a part of life. From that time, I'll never forget the innocent people enjoying a drink when blown up by the IRA in the Guildford and Birmingham pub bombings. Similarly, the Hyde Park and Regents Park bombings, where the Royal Green Jackets band were entertaining a summer audience with music from Oliver! when a bomb was detonated underneath them.

Terrorism was something you became a little blase about after a while. Life, after all, had to go on. And then September 11th happened.

All I know is that 9/11 shook me to the very core. I went to sleep on the 11th September 2001 and when I awoke on the 12th (time difference), the world had changed forever. In the five years that have passed, terrorism has again returned to London, has reared its head in Madrid, in Bali, in Turkey and other places.

I often find myself thinking about September 11th, with no apparent trigger. Around the time of the anniversary, I definitely become aware of it being on my mind more frequently.

It also starts me thinking about my own losses. A sister I sadly barely knew, a father I lost not once but twice and dearly loved, a stepfather who was pivotal in shaping my life.

It makes me think about wanting to hold those I love closer to me, as if I had the power to prevent them from being taken from me suddenly. Unrealistic, I know. More importantly, it reminds me to treasure each moment I have with a loved one for tomorrow is only hoped for, never a given.

Sculpture 'Unnecessary Loss' by Floyd Wanner.