The mutterings of a rubber chicken

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Botox, buttocks and armchair travel

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I was reading today about some new reality show from the UK. Apparently women clamoured to be flown to LA to prove their butt-ugliness to cosmetic surgeons in order to win a complete plastic overhaul.

So what happens there?

"I'm sorry, you only have the features of the back end of a constipated baboon so we're voting you off. Live with it." Yikes. Who'd put themselves through that?

And that got me thinking about the internet and the images people present.

After all, you've probably read my profile. No hint at all that I'm really a cross dressing truck driver from the back of Bourke. Kidding, of course (and apologies to all crossdressing trucker drivers wherever you are).

Now, although my alter ego is a plastic chicken, I would like to say that's the extent of the plastic surgery in respect of this cleaning woman.
A botox free zone. And, for those of you who got excited by the title of this blog entry, this is where the buttocks part comes in. Seeing as that's how some people insist on pronoucing the supposed elixir of youth. Disappointing, I know, but this really isn't that kind of blog.

So, truth and honesty. Very important to me. Look at the photo. Remarkably good wear for my age.

And the red nose? I'd love to claim that as representative of the good, charitable side of the cleaning woman. After all, Red Nose Day is a very worthy cause but, at three months early, who's going to buy that?

Nope. Had the 'flu jab last week and been laid low with....well, what feels pretty much like the 'flu ....ever since. For a vaccine that supposedly isn't live, it seems to be doing a lot of living up in my body.

This year contains a combination of 'flu strains from interesting places like Vietnam, California and Singapore. Actually, I can't remember the exact places now but isn't it neat that your body can effectively visit these places and pick up exotic germs without even leaving your armchair?


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