The mutterings of a rubber chicken

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Mind if I don't?

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The reading was proving less than successful. Could think of way too many things I'd rather be watching endless reruns of Titanic, listening to Adam Sandler singing whiney songs as he accomplished himself on the ukelele, taking the washing off that handy treadmill and actually using it for it's intended purpose. Riiiiigghhhttt.

Moving right along. Plenty to do, little motivation to do it.

Mindfulness Training. The CD has been sitting on my desk long enough 'minding' (ha ha) it's own business. How stressful can that be? I listen attentively, suddenly full of purpose and good intentions.

Ahaahahahaaaaaa. Le Guy has an outrageous French accent. I expect him to burst out into 'Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries' at any moment, yet alone 'fart in my general direction.' Not a good start.

I get over my Snickers (gratuitous product placement - Mars, please send humungous cheque) and try to get into the present moment...that being the point, of course. Except my brain is being non-cooperative. 'Is there toilet roll left in the bathroom?' Weighty matters like that. Things that really keep the world turning. HEY. we've all been stranded in that situation at some time. Tell me it's not dire (and hopefully not diaorrhea).

Focus. F-O-C-U-S. Deep breath. Listen. 'Let the mind go and the body will follow' to quote Steve Martin. I did, it did. I got it back about an hour later, complete with the imprint of the latest headline across my cheeks from the newspaper my head was resting on.

Someone poke me with a big stick. ZZzzzzzzzZZzzzz.


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